What is your canvas? For me, it's always been the ice. It's a rare but special treat to find yourself alone on a clean sheet of ice. Hearing the ice crunch under the pressure of my blade and the designs cut into the ice left a trail behind me, showing exactly where I've been. There is no hiding my path. And that means there's also no hiding my mistakes.

For those not versed in figure skating, we are our own worst critics. For example, you'll often see us looking down at the ice after a spin. We are not looking to see what we stepped on that made us lose our balance. We are looking to see the marks on the ice and letting those guide our next steps. Those marks tell us exactly what we need to correct on the next attempt.

If the spin was good, centered and had a lot of speed, we'll see tight repetitive circles on top of each other. If seeing elongated loops trailing away from the initial three-turn, that means the three-turn was most likely rushed, and the spin traveled; therefore, it was not very good. A lot of snow and scratches on the ice? That means we were not spinning on the correct part of the rocker on the blade. We can learn so much from what we see, mistakes and all.

I love having the ability to see my mistakes on the ice. I say to my students, if you can see it, you can correct it. It's not a bad thing; it's an opportunity to learn and grow. Being a performing artist on the ice gives me the freedom to explore. I thrive on learning new things, and skating provides the perfect canvas for me to hone my craft and infuse my creativity.

But my journey to becoming a figure skater was not an easy task. It was marred by challenges and setbacks that would have most people giving up on their dreams. Unfortunate family circumstances took skating out of my life at the start of my career when I was just nine years old. I spent fourteen years off the ice before I decided to return again. Little did I know that it wasn't going to be as easy as simply lacing up a pair of skates and jumping out there.

Challenges are Opportunities

Age 21 - With a pair of second-hand skates and excitement through the roof, I returned to the ice two sessions per week. Words cannot describe how happy and fulfilled I felt. It was pure joy. But on the third week, I developed pain in my lower right leg, which turned out to be a stress fracture. Doctors put me in a cast and said no skating for six weeks. I didn't have a lot of money, so I postponed my training until the next season. What's one more year of waiting, right?

While waiting for the new season, I started working out and stretching to prepare for my return to the ice.

Building Resilience

Age 22 - I was in a car accident one week before the start of the fall skating season and was not able to return. I sustained minor back and neck injuries that needed time to heal. Plus, now I had the unexpected and added expense of replacing my car. What little savings I had set aside to skate was now gone. I was so disappointed but wanted to be a responsible young adult. One more year off the ice is not going to make or break my desire to return again. I'll just appreciate it more when I do.

I gave myself the grace of time to allow my body to fully heal and took away the financial pressure by giving myself more time to save up again.

Harnessing my Passion

Age 23 - I returned to the ice skating two sessions per week, and this time with more gratitude and boundless enthusiasm that made my heart sing. But this joyous feeling was soon to vanish when the pain in my lower leg returned after just two weeks of skating. This time it was in both legs. Now I felt frustrated. I was knocking on a door that just wouldn't open. But why? Was I not meant to return to the ice? A resounding 'NO' echoed in my heart. I'm not a quitter, and if there is a will, there is a way. I just need to find it.

Discovering my Purpose

Wanting to get to the bottom of 'why' this was happening to me, I saw an orthopedic surgeon. After x-rays, he said that I had very shallow angles in my knee joints that didn't allow my fibula to slide properly to absorb the shock and pressure of landing jumps. So the bone has nowhere to go and is buckling where there is pressure. For me, that was the top of the skate boot. He said they could operate and take out a sliver of bone from both knee joints to provide more room but it's not a guarantee it would solve the problem. The other option was... I will probably never be able to skate again.

Huh? Well, that sucks. And... that was not an option. I wanted to skate, no - I needed to skate!

This is when I realized that my passion to skate outweighed the challenges I faced. I realized that there was a purpose to all of this and one day I would look back and realize why. So, I decided to move forward and paint my own life's picture. I'm the artist, and I'm in control. If I want to skate, I can skate. I just have to find a way.

Cultivating Determination

I could have looked at my situation as a roadblock. But I chose to see this challenge as an opportunity for me to find a creative solution. And I did. I had special pads made that I could tape to my legs that relieved the pressure off the bone and allowed me the freedom to glide on the ice again. It wasn't pretty by any means, but was something I could afford. More importantly, I was on the ice again and that was worth every penny.

Learning and Adapting

Taping pads to my legs wasn't a perfect solution. It took up a lot of room in my boots and made my legs sit at a funny angle. This affected my ability to spin. I had a really hard time centering spins and had to adapt my technique to make even the easiest positions work. Sit spins were especially difficult, but I gave myself grace and didn't beat myself up about it. I simply tried and modified until I could figure out a way to do it. 

I also couldn't train aggressively. I had to pace myself and limit how much time I spent on the ice. If I had a day where I worked on jumps, I had to take a week or two off to let my legs heal. The same went for working on ice dances. All the deep knee bending put an intense amount of pressure on my bones from the boot pressing on the pads.  It was a constant battle trying to find the right balance. The stress fractures always came back and that was my clue to back off and rest. It was frustrating at times, but I didn't let it defeat me. The mere fact that I was on the ice was a win in my books! 

Creating a Vibrant Life

I wanted skating in my life. This was essential to my happiness. It was my decision alone to pursue my passion to skate. Therefore, my repsonsibility alone for my success. It was not what I invisioned the journey to look like, but I was truly happy. I was patient and kind to myself, and that made challenges easier to overcome.  I understood that I had the power to make choices that would lead my path in a certain direction.  And I'm so very glad I did.  I used to listen to the song; Dreams Can Come True by Gabrielle on my way to the rink with a feeling of immense gratitude. "Welcome back Hazel, we missed you" the ice used to say to me!

Challenges are an inherent part of our journey, and they can, at times, cast shadows on our passion and purpose. Here are some rules to follow when faced with challenges.

1. Embrace Challenges as Opportunities: Challenges are not roadblocks but rather stepping stones on your journey to fulfilling your dreams and ambitions. They provide you with the chance to grow, learn, and evolve as an individual.
2. Build Resilience: Confronting and overcoming challenges strengthens your resilience. The ability to bounce back from setbacks is a valuable life skill that will serve you well in pursuing your goals.
3. Harness Your Passion: Your passion is a powerful force that can turn adversity into advantage. When faced with challenges, channel your passion into finding creative solutions and pushing through obstacles.
4. Discover Your Purpose: Challenges can help you discover your true purpose in life. They often reveal what you care about most and what truly matters to you. Embrace challenges as opportunities to align your actions with your passions and desires.
5. Cultivate Determination: Challenges test your determination and commitment to your ambitions. The more challenges you face and conquer, the more determined and unstoppable you become in pursuing your dreams.
6. Learn and Adapt: Challenges provide opportunities for learning and adaptation. Each obstacle you overcome equips you with new knowledge and skills that can be applied to future endeavors.
7. Create a Vibrant Life: Just as an artist uses vibrant colors to create a captivating painting, you can use challenges to add depth and meaning to your life's story. Embrace the ups and downs as part of your unique and colorful journey.

Whenever you encounter challenges, remember that they are not roadblocks. Each challenge is an opportunity to infuse your journey with vibrant colors, to give depth and purpose to your pursuits. As you navigate life's twists and turns, keep in mind that it's through facing challenges that you discover your true self, your deepest desires, and the path that resonates with your soul.

Go find your magic! - Love Hazel x0